In Their Own Time

My son and daughter at the beach

Our family loves to swim. So for the past six years that I have worked in another city, we go to the beaches nearby and have an overnight stay at the resorts whenever we can.

When my eldest was still a toddler, her relationship with the water didn't start well. Whenever we dip her into the water she would cry and struggle to get herself out from it. But as time passed by, she began to slowly love swimming.

In our desire to teach her to love swimming, sometimes we went beyond encouraging. The playful me has forced her to immerse herself into the water, there were times that I have jumped with her into the water. A few times even that I got angry at her just because she didn't want to try what we told her to do.

One of those times was when I accompanied her to try the water slide. I told her that it was fun and that we'll try the kid's slide just for her to experience it. I had difficulty convincing her to try it, and eventually she agreed to slide with me guiding and holding her as she slides down. It didn't work out well for her first, as she cried hard and vowed not to slide again after that.

But just few months back, something unexpected happened. We went to have our last stay in a resort before coming back to our hometown. Just as when we were about to head back to our room she asked us if she could go to the kid's pool and swim a little more. My wife went back to the room with our son and I accompanied our daughter. And it was there that she made another request that she be allowed to try the water slide.

With a little hesitation, I allowed her to go. And I think I made the right decision at that time, for she had fun on the slide and she did it not just once but many times over.

When it was time to go, we headed back to our room and I told my wife about what happened. We realized that there are some things that we cannot force our children to try and to love. Sometimes it just have to come onto them naturally. We can't force our way to our children all the time, sometimes we have to trust our children that they will have them in their own time.

A Daughter's Wish

Last month, my family (minus our 10-month old son) and a niece, went to watch the movie How to Train Your Dragon 2.

We enjoyed the movie and loved the story and would love to watch it again and again if we can. The movie itself had a lot of great lessons for all of us, young or old, to get and to learn from. But a request made by my 4-year old daughter during a turning point in the movie that gave me the greatest lesson that day and struck a cord in me.

When Hiccup's father, Stoick, was killed by his own pet dragon, I heard sobs and sniffs coming from my left. I look at that direction and saw my wife and daughter wiping off some tears. Being a male as I am, I smiled at them and made fun at them a little. After a few moments, they regained their composure and we continued to watch the movie.

After we finished, both my wife and daughter went to the wash room and it was there that my daughter told her mother that she doesn't want her father die like what happened to Hiccup's dad. She was really afraid of losing her father someday.

We explained to her things about her fear afterwards. We hugged each other tightly and told her not to worry. And told myself that I should cherish these special moments with my daughter. This also taught me not to take lightly her emotions and fears, her thoughts and intellect. As a father, it is also my responsibility to help her have a better grasp of things around her.